I love nursing! Looking at his precious face, listening to the gulp-breathe, gulp-breathe, feeling his hand push away from my chest while the other occasionally strokes my rib cage, his feet sometimes completely relaxed, while other times they are pushing at the arm chair or whatever lay at his feet. Corban is now getting to the point that he is easily distracted when eating, which makes me fear that these sweet moments that I cherish are soon passing. We are starting solids tomorrow for his 6 month-from-birth-day. Man how time just keeps ticking away- I guess that is what it is suppose to do. Sometimes I wish it would forget it's job!
So I have yet to write my Father's Day post for MY dad. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect father! He is perfectly human, flaws and perfections included! And I love him for both! He was a great dad as a child because I knew he loved me. I remember countless times he would spend with us as children, doing whatever we were interested in, be it swimming, soccer, hiking, camping, shopping, etc. The shopping! That is definitely a memory- the ever so patient father when it came time for School Clothes Shopping in Vegas at the end of every summer. He was the bag holder, Michael entertainer, and inventory consolidator when it came time to packing it all in to go home. He has always been this for my mother, having met every challenge she has given him with the fabulous finds she comes across while out and about. Even still to this day I will call and when asked what they are doing, the answer so many times comes back"shopping". Boy did my mom marry right!
I don't personally have an experience, but there were multiple occasions where he happened to be the cause of great physical pain for my siblings: breaking Kimberly's eardrum and breaking Heather's nose. This may have been considered a flaw, however, he used his perfection to fix both! But Kimberly has since broken her eardrum numerous times. His art of healing came in handy more than once for me, with my head getting cracked open time and time again, twice while riding in the ambulance (family car on occasion when in Africa), my elbow getting dislocated half way up to my shoulder, many sicknesses that you come across as a child, and broken hearts from broken relationships. It is moments like this that daddy's are just the cure!
I have this memory of a conversation I was having with my father during a weekend of General Conference. I was about 13 or 14 years of age. A speaker had just spoken on keeping the sabbath day holy. So I asked my dad if he thinks he is keeping the sabbath day holy when he works on Sunday. He was running the Emergency Department at the IHC hospital in St. George at the time and worked on Sundays quite a bit. At the time I remember this conversation didn't go over very well, as he got a bit defensive and I was probably being a bit self righteous. But I somehow came away from the experience, having looked back on it often since then, more aware of how I spend my sabbath day.
He courageously allowed an 11 year old to make an outrageous bet of being the Best Teenager, with the stake being $1000. For seven LONG years this was a constant reminder anytime I acted up- "You're going to lose your $1000 if you continue to act like that." The day of my 18th birthday greeted me with a smile and a framed $1000 bill. The joke was now on me because I couldn't go and spend the $1000. It was funny back then, and still is today. But there is also a very precious symbol in there that I know my father (and mother) was aiming for with this gift. I really should think about more often, as it could help me to be a better wife, a better mother, and better all around person.
I could go on and on because the more I write the more I think up more things for which I am grateful to my dad. But to get to my Sunday meetings in the morning, I will end with this one. My dad has always been one that keeps himself very busy. He is engaged in many goods things, lots of BETTER things, and it could be argued that a majority are the BEST things. Nevertheless, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for him to make a decision when it is between two BEST things. My best guess of how he makes up his mind is that he gets down on his knees and asks the one who is so much wiser (speaking of Heavenly Father, but his wife fits this part just as well). Well, early this year I believe he was facing one of these hard decisions and only he can say if it was the BEST decision, but to me it meant the world to have him at my first son's baby blessing, Corban Axel Crane. I understand it is such a short moment in time that is spent in the circle, hands laid on the child's head as the priesthood brethren present the child to the Father. I would be the first to say "it's just a blessing, you don't have to be there", and I did say this. But deep down I really did want him there. He did come and was only able to spend a few days, but every minute was appreciated and enjoyed. I will forever be explaining the real reason my sons middle name is Axel, and the answer not being "I am in love with Axel Rose". To me and to my son this name will carry great meaning and I will do my best to raise him in a manner that he lives up to it. Dad may have not really enjoyed his middle name, but all the more stories to tell Corban as he grows up with this family name.
Lastly and most importantly, my dad is the greatest because he knows and admits he is only great because of the woman that stands by him. My parents together are so sweet in their older age (notice I didn't say "old", but I chose "older"). I have seen their challenging times- some of which lasted for years and years- maybe a majority of my life. I am sure what I watched them go through was not as bad as the "bad" relationships, but it surely wasn't as good as the "great" relationships. For me it was real, it was worrisome and I felt I had reason to pray. I am grateful that it was out in the open for me to witness, as I am now more appreciative of what I see in them now. I am also more realistic about my own relationship and hopefully have developed within me a value of enduring through the toughest of times- they are yet to come!Thank you for being supportive to me through my schooling, my single life, my boyfriend sagas, my engagements, my marriage, and now as I venture into parenthood. I love your analogies that continue to teach me in life's lessons where they apply- I wish I was able to hear them more often cause I could really use one for each lesson. I love your humor, your shared wisdom, your work ethic, your sweet Father's Blessings, and your philosophy about dessert- eat dessert first, or always save room for it. You will continue to be the man I look up to and go to for much advice and I am grateful that you will be the grandfather of my children.
Dad, I love you for you! I truly feel blessed to be your daughter!
My sweet hubby will be walking in the door very soon- 1:00am in the morning! I best be preparing for his arrival, as there will be much shuffling of junk into the house.
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