I hardly have a time that I can sit down and write the things the kids are doing because they are so busy doing. So here I will jot down what comes to me right now:
Malia is no longer bauld- though she still looks like it. She is growing in some more dark, though not as dark, hair. I thought it would be blonde. And her eyelashes are coming in!
Corban is starting to repeat things when you ask him to and says a lot of stuff on his own- capital is where he enusiates:
an-Ger= hanger,
pieece= please,
Ice=eyes,
noSe=nose,
shooze= shoes,
ox= socks,
uh-oh= uh-oh,
wee,wee,wee=for fun,
car-S= cars,
bye-ee=bye,
wa, too, fee= 1,2,3,
saying no and yes more consistant to what he wants...he use to use "No" for everything. When it was meant as no it was sharp. When it was meant as yes he would say it nicely.
"Yes or Not, Corban?" "Naugh-T"
Malia laughed for the first time on Sunday (Sept 27th)- she did it right after Corban had laughed. She is getting to be very interactive and smiley. At the same time, she is very needy and wants to be held all the time. She has a grouchy time in the evening for a couple of hours. Her nighttime is getting a little better with falling right back to sleep after eating...mom wakes up much happier.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Mom's version of Labor
Here it is one month post Malia's birth and I have yet to post my version of the story. It isn't much different from Jared's but I think it is still good for me to put down.
One week past Malia's due date I was fine- two weeks past her due date and I started to not be so patient. On Sunday I was starting to feel very depressed because it was looking to be very likely that I would have to be induced when what I was wanting most was for a natural birth. The midwife did have some reassuring news that it was likely my body would take to induction just through breaking my water, therefore I could still be in the birthing center. However, if that didn't work they would have to move me to Labor and Delivery for pitocin. I prayed that night that we would be able to have this baby naturally- a prayer I had been offering for the previous few days.
Around 4 am I found myself being woken up by cramping pain- not extreme pain, but more of an annoying pain that was making it difficult to sleep through. After trying to fight it I got out of bed at 4:30 am to go to the bathroom- still cramping here and there. I tried again to go back to bed- there would be none of that. So I decided to go downstairs to eat something. By this time it had occurred to me that what I might be experiencing was labor- cramps every 5-8 minutes apart- however, after each cramp I thought, "this isn't bad enough to be labor." This was about the time I went to the computer and started playing around with Twitter and writing on my blog. When Jared woke up to go to the bathroom and found that I wasn't in bed, he came downstairs to see how I was doing. I told him I was fine, I was just experiencing some "regular cramping." "You mean Labor," he said. I told him to go back to bed because it was going to be a long day if it really was labor. So to bed he went.
I decided to put off calling Doula Trisha until a reasonable hour. Once 7 rolled around I held off until my curiosity got to me- I had to have someone else validate that I was in fact in labor. She said that definitely sounded like labor but that we still probably had a while before we would need to go to the hospital. She gave me the instruction to call her back when the frequency and intensity changed. It was almost immediately after I got off the phone that I noticed a dramatic change. I decided to take a shower and then see how I felt. I had already called Heather and let her know I was in labor and we discussed that she would have time to take a shower and then head down here to take care of Corban.
Once out of the shower and feeling pretty confident that I was in fact have more intense contractions, getting to the point that I couldn't talk through the cramping, I called Trisha back. She was still seeming to be on the fence as to whether or not this was to the point that we should go to the hospital- "I don't know. You don't want to get to the hospital too early because you don't want them to send you away because you haven't progressed enough." And I explained to her, "Even if they don't admit me, I would rather take the car ride down there before I get too bad and I can't handle sitting still in a car because of the pain." I told her my sister was on her way and I would do my best to wait for her to get to my house because then my son would be in her care. After that phone call the intensity seemed to increase again so I asked Jared (it was probably more like "telling") to do counter pressure on my hips. Once he did that there was no going without it- it was amazing how much relief that gave throughout the contraction! So he was running about the house getting things ready and having to come to my beckon call every- now 2 minutes.
Throughout the "waiting period" Corban woke up and needed to be fed, so now Jared had a dilemma- do I attend to Corban's needs or moms? He did very good taking care of both of us. There was one point that Corban must have got a little impatient and decided to take the spoon and feed himself while daddy was pushing on mom- just a slight scare for daddy. Then there was trying to pull our bags together, replacing those items we had removed over the past couple of days, and getting Corban dressed for the day. I tried to do my hair- but I couldn't handle it very well due to my need to concentrate on each contraction. And any of the preparations I had made earlier- like snack foods for Jared and candy for the nurses- I had totally forgot about by this point.
As the contractions got worse, I thought to myself, "If I am not at least dilated to a 7 by the time we get to the hospital, I don't know if I can go through with natural birth."
Heather arrived about 9:45 and I couldn't have been more happy for her arrival! I knew Corban would now be happy and taken very good care of while we headed off. We pretty much walked out the door as they walked in. Heather gave me a hug and wished me "Happy pushing". I remember thinking as the boys walked in, "I wish they didn't have to see me this way". And true to Jared's account, we walked out to the van and while I was waiting for him to open the door for me I threw up multiple times. Poor Corban and Ellie who watched in awe and probably horror. I asked that I could sit in the back, for fear of throwing up again and as I climbed in I realized I couldn't sit in a seat, but instead needed to be on my hands and knees. I asked that Jared drive and smoothly, but fast as possible. I was really impressed with his abilities! He had GPS on which let me know exactly where we were along the way. I am not sure that this was helpful because I remember thinking, "We are only that far?!" We did finally arrive at the hospital. I had a contraction as we were walking up to the doors, so I had to stop and have Jared do counter pressure. We got in the elevators and a Resident doctor said, "I have seen your situation too many times." I guess that is a good thing because I felt like a "one and only" at this point and was feeling like I looked pretty ridiculous.
We went to the Birthing Center check-in and it was about 10:30. They knew we were coming because I had called before leaving the house. They asked if I was getting close. I said, with a smile, "I sure hope so, even though I may not look like it." They took us to our room and Jared immediately asked that they start the tub for me. The thought of getting into the tub to have some relief was sounding REALLY good to me at this point. The midwife checked me and said, "You are at a definite 7, but may be further because your water bag is bulging." That was both a relief and a disappointment- I was really going to go through with this naturally!
Trisha arrived about 10-20 minutes after us and Jared was relieved to have her show up because he could get a small break. She took over the counter pressure as he put on some "labor music"- a mix he had made for me of songs we thought would be motivating through labor. While she was at my side my bag burst with a huge gush of water. It was warm and very wet! The midwife checked me again (this time it was a different Midwife because the other one was busy with 2 other births down in labor and delivery) and I was at 9 1/2. They let me know we were at a point we could start pushing if I felt like it. Interestingly enough, I from then on felt like it.
The remaining three hours were much the same. Pushing in one position for 4-6 times and then they would suggest that I change positions. Every time they suggested that I am sure I would roll my eyes like, "whatever you say, but it isn't as easy as you think." I was also very annoyed that between each contraction the nurse would be trying to get a heart rate on the baby by putting the Doppler on my lower abdomen. Knowing that it was very necessary and was much better than having a constant monitor on, I never said anything and hopefully didn't act too annoyed. In between each contraction in my head I was thinking- I can't do this. At times I would even be saying that- shaking my head and saying in a pitiful voice, "I can't do this." The midwife looked at me with a look of caring concern and said, "You are the only one that can this. You are the only one that can get her out at this point." I didn't feel very encouraged by this, but instead felt like she was just going to be in there forever.
I remember at one point talking to Trisha and telling her I needed to get my mind to be somewhere else- every suggestion she gave me (the beach, in a field of flowers, etc.) wasn't acceptable. I was finding myself doing things which seemed to be out of my control and then right after I would be apologizing and being more nice. At the 2 hour point I remember thinking- "I have made it this far before, so what now?" With Corban, once I had pushed for 2 hours they wanted to do some intervention. Well, that must be a magic time because this is when they started talking about moving me to Labor and Delivery. They had determined that I wasn't progressing with each push, but that I was probably just getting her head to swell more and more. She didn't seem to be budging. Having been working really hard for the past two hours, I was open to anything at this point- just get her out of there! Luckily I had Jared and Trisha there to motivate me through this. They kept encouraging me through each push, hoping that there would be some change and I wouldn't have to be moved. The nurse kept working on getting an IV into me, which for some reason in the previous weeks I had been dreading. I somehow remember it being a whole lot worse than they really are. I guess when you have been in a lot more pain, there isn't much that can compete so you can take on anything.
When the midwife came back in after talking with the doctor's downstairs I was so relieved to have her say that it looked like there was a change and that we might be able to do it. She worked with me on stretching during each contraction and I too started to feel the progression. At one point they asked me to reach down and touch her head because it was right there. That was cool, but also kind of weird. Then came the crowning moment...the "ring of fire". This, I will happily admit, was MUCH better than I had anticipated. I think it took 2 but maybe three pushes to get through this, but the pain was nothing like I had imagined. And the fabulous relief that came afterwards as little Malia emerged was something I could do over again.
Malia was immediately placed in my arms and they put a hat and blanket over her- wiped her face off and left her to me for the next long while. I remember saying over and over, while looking into her little eyes, "I am your mama." I would tell her about how hard the both of us just worked on getting her out. There was an initial shock for how dark she was- dark skin (for a white baby), dark hair...all over her body, and really dark eyes. I couldn't really see either me or Jared in her, but she was beautiful. Her head was a little distorted, but I figured it would normal soon enough.
I also spent a lot of time evaluating whether or not natural birth was worth all the hard work. Right off I was really having to weigh it, but just days later I was definitely feeling it would be worth it! One of the best things being that we got to go home within 24 hours. I also bounced back fairly quickly. I loved the entire experience- the midwives, the nursing staff, our doula, and most off all working through the hardest part with my one and only true love.
Now we enjoy our little angel all day long in our arms. She is a bit more demanding than I remember Corban being. She always wants to be held, she eats no less than every 3 hours and it is usually 2 hours, she is as spitty as Corban and fussy after eating, and she doesn't like to sleep much. She has already reached 10 1/2 pounds! Her eyes are looking like they are going to be brown. Still don't see many features as mine or Jared's, but she does look like my baby pictures. I think she has my grandma Cox's hands and Jared's second turned-out toe. She has been interacting and smiling for us for more than a week now.
Corban continues to be darling with her. He still gently kisses her on the head, followed by a pat. He now also gets the concept of wiping up spit up with a cloth and he knows she needs a binkie. When she is crying he will go over to her and put his arms around her, leaning his head in like "There, there. It will be okay."
Daddy is helping out so much among his schooling and hard work on the shower. He plays hard with Corban and enjoys holding sessions with Malia when mom needs a break. Mom has gone through days of obvious exhaustion accompanied by impatience and grumpiness and days a being on top of the world.
Overall we are a happy family learning the ins and outs of our new life. We are loving it!
One week past Malia's due date I was fine- two weeks past her due date and I started to not be so patient. On Sunday I was starting to feel very depressed because it was looking to be very likely that I would have to be induced when what I was wanting most was for a natural birth. The midwife did have some reassuring news that it was likely my body would take to induction just through breaking my water, therefore I could still be in the birthing center. However, if that didn't work they would have to move me to Labor and Delivery for pitocin. I prayed that night that we would be able to have this baby naturally- a prayer I had been offering for the previous few days.
Around 4 am I found myself being woken up by cramping pain- not extreme pain, but more of an annoying pain that was making it difficult to sleep through. After trying to fight it I got out of bed at 4:30 am to go to the bathroom- still cramping here and there. I tried again to go back to bed- there would be none of that. So I decided to go downstairs to eat something. By this time it had occurred to me that what I might be experiencing was labor- cramps every 5-8 minutes apart- however, after each cramp I thought, "this isn't bad enough to be labor." This was about the time I went to the computer and started playing around with Twitter and writing on my blog. When Jared woke up to go to the bathroom and found that I wasn't in bed, he came downstairs to see how I was doing. I told him I was fine, I was just experiencing some "regular cramping." "You mean Labor," he said. I told him to go back to bed because it was going to be a long day if it really was labor. So to bed he went.
I decided to put off calling Doula Trisha until a reasonable hour. Once 7 rolled around I held off until my curiosity got to me- I had to have someone else validate that I was in fact in labor. She said that definitely sounded like labor but that we still probably had a while before we would need to go to the hospital. She gave me the instruction to call her back when the frequency and intensity changed. It was almost immediately after I got off the phone that I noticed a dramatic change. I decided to take a shower and then see how I felt. I had already called Heather and let her know I was in labor and we discussed that she would have time to take a shower and then head down here to take care of Corban.
Once out of the shower and feeling pretty confident that I was in fact have more intense contractions, getting to the point that I couldn't talk through the cramping, I called Trisha back. She was still seeming to be on the fence as to whether or not this was to the point that we should go to the hospital- "I don't know. You don't want to get to the hospital too early because you don't want them to send you away because you haven't progressed enough." And I explained to her, "Even if they don't admit me, I would rather take the car ride down there before I get too bad and I can't handle sitting still in a car because of the pain." I told her my sister was on her way and I would do my best to wait for her to get to my house because then my son would be in her care. After that phone call the intensity seemed to increase again so I asked Jared (it was probably more like "telling") to do counter pressure on my hips. Once he did that there was no going without it- it was amazing how much relief that gave throughout the contraction! So he was running about the house getting things ready and having to come to my beckon call every- now 2 minutes.
Throughout the "waiting period" Corban woke up and needed to be fed, so now Jared had a dilemma- do I attend to Corban's needs or moms? He did very good taking care of both of us. There was one point that Corban must have got a little impatient and decided to take the spoon and feed himself while daddy was pushing on mom- just a slight scare for daddy. Then there was trying to pull our bags together, replacing those items we had removed over the past couple of days, and getting Corban dressed for the day. I tried to do my hair- but I couldn't handle it very well due to my need to concentrate on each contraction. And any of the preparations I had made earlier- like snack foods for Jared and candy for the nurses- I had totally forgot about by this point.
As the contractions got worse, I thought to myself, "If I am not at least dilated to a 7 by the time we get to the hospital, I don't know if I can go through with natural birth."
Heather arrived about 9:45 and I couldn't have been more happy for her arrival! I knew Corban would now be happy and taken very good care of while we headed off. We pretty much walked out the door as they walked in. Heather gave me a hug and wished me "Happy pushing". I remember thinking as the boys walked in, "I wish they didn't have to see me this way". And true to Jared's account, we walked out to the van and while I was waiting for him to open the door for me I threw up multiple times. Poor Corban and Ellie who watched in awe and probably horror. I asked that I could sit in the back, for fear of throwing up again and as I climbed in I realized I couldn't sit in a seat, but instead needed to be on my hands and knees. I asked that Jared drive and smoothly, but fast as possible. I was really impressed with his abilities! He had GPS on which let me know exactly where we were along the way. I am not sure that this was helpful because I remember thinking, "We are only that far?!" We did finally arrive at the hospital. I had a contraction as we were walking up to the doors, so I had to stop and have Jared do counter pressure. We got in the elevators and a Resident doctor said, "I have seen your situation too many times." I guess that is a good thing because I felt like a "one and only" at this point and was feeling like I looked pretty ridiculous.
We went to the Birthing Center check-in and it was about 10:30. They knew we were coming because I had called before leaving the house. They asked if I was getting close. I said, with a smile, "I sure hope so, even though I may not look like it." They took us to our room and Jared immediately asked that they start the tub for me. The thought of getting into the tub to have some relief was sounding REALLY good to me at this point. The midwife checked me and said, "You are at a definite 7, but may be further because your water bag is bulging." That was both a relief and a disappointment- I was really going to go through with this naturally!
Trisha arrived about 10-20 minutes after us and Jared was relieved to have her show up because he could get a small break. She took over the counter pressure as he put on some "labor music"- a mix he had made for me of songs we thought would be motivating through labor. While she was at my side my bag burst with a huge gush of water. It was warm and very wet! The midwife checked me again (this time it was a different Midwife because the other one was busy with 2 other births down in labor and delivery) and I was at 9 1/2. They let me know we were at a point we could start pushing if I felt like it. Interestingly enough, I from then on felt like it.
The remaining three hours were much the same. Pushing in one position for 4-6 times and then they would suggest that I change positions. Every time they suggested that I am sure I would roll my eyes like, "whatever you say, but it isn't as easy as you think." I was also very annoyed that between each contraction the nurse would be trying to get a heart rate on the baby by putting the Doppler on my lower abdomen. Knowing that it was very necessary and was much better than having a constant monitor on, I never said anything and hopefully didn't act too annoyed. In between each contraction in my head I was thinking- I can't do this. At times I would even be saying that- shaking my head and saying in a pitiful voice, "I can't do this." The midwife looked at me with a look of caring concern and said, "You are the only one that can this. You are the only one that can get her out at this point." I didn't feel very encouraged by this, but instead felt like she was just going to be in there forever.
I remember at one point talking to Trisha and telling her I needed to get my mind to be somewhere else- every suggestion she gave me (the beach, in a field of flowers, etc.) wasn't acceptable. I was finding myself doing things which seemed to be out of my control and then right after I would be apologizing and being more nice. At the 2 hour point I remember thinking- "I have made it this far before, so what now?" With Corban, once I had pushed for 2 hours they wanted to do some intervention. Well, that must be a magic time because this is when they started talking about moving me to Labor and Delivery. They had determined that I wasn't progressing with each push, but that I was probably just getting her head to swell more and more. She didn't seem to be budging. Having been working really hard for the past two hours, I was open to anything at this point- just get her out of there! Luckily I had Jared and Trisha there to motivate me through this. They kept encouraging me through each push, hoping that there would be some change and I wouldn't have to be moved. The nurse kept working on getting an IV into me, which for some reason in the previous weeks I had been dreading. I somehow remember it being a whole lot worse than they really are. I guess when you have been in a lot more pain, there isn't much that can compete so you can take on anything.
When the midwife came back in after talking with the doctor's downstairs I was so relieved to have her say that it looked like there was a change and that we might be able to do it. She worked with me on stretching during each contraction and I too started to feel the progression. At one point they asked me to reach down and touch her head because it was right there. That was cool, but also kind of weird. Then came the crowning moment...the "ring of fire". This, I will happily admit, was MUCH better than I had anticipated. I think it took 2 but maybe three pushes to get through this, but the pain was nothing like I had imagined. And the fabulous relief that came afterwards as little Malia emerged was something I could do over again.
Malia was immediately placed in my arms and they put a hat and blanket over her- wiped her face off and left her to me for the next long while. I remember saying over and over, while looking into her little eyes, "I am your mama." I would tell her about how hard the both of us just worked on getting her out. There was an initial shock for how dark she was- dark skin (for a white baby), dark hair...all over her body, and really dark eyes. I couldn't really see either me or Jared in her, but she was beautiful. Her head was a little distorted, but I figured it would normal soon enough.
I also spent a lot of time evaluating whether or not natural birth was worth all the hard work. Right off I was really having to weigh it, but just days later I was definitely feeling it would be worth it! One of the best things being that we got to go home within 24 hours. I also bounced back fairly quickly. I loved the entire experience- the midwives, the nursing staff, our doula, and most off all working through the hardest part with my one and only true love.
Now we enjoy our little angel all day long in our arms. She is a bit more demanding than I remember Corban being. She always wants to be held, she eats no less than every 3 hours and it is usually 2 hours, she is as spitty as Corban and fussy after eating, and she doesn't like to sleep much. She has already reached 10 1/2 pounds! Her eyes are looking like they are going to be brown. Still don't see many features as mine or Jared's, but she does look like my baby pictures. I think she has my grandma Cox's hands and Jared's second turned-out toe. She has been interacting and smiling for us for more than a week now.
Corban continues to be darling with her. He still gently kisses her on the head, followed by a pat. He now also gets the concept of wiping up spit up with a cloth and he knows she needs a binkie. When she is crying he will go over to her and put his arms around her, leaning his head in like "There, there. It will be okay."
Daddy is helping out so much among his schooling and hard work on the shower. He plays hard with Corban and enjoys holding sessions with Malia when mom needs a break. Mom has gone through days of obvious exhaustion accompanied by impatience and grumpiness and days a being on top of the world.
Overall we are a happy family learning the ins and outs of our new life. We are loving it!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Lights Out!
Today my night class was cancelled, so I was home starting on the shower tiling when we lost power. The whole neighborhood lost power. Amanda was in the middle of making bread, and about an hour in we realized that the dough had risen a ton, and we had to operate! So I started a fire in the back yard and melted butter as we set up candles (yeah, getting dark now) and a headlamp for the chef, and that bread became a very large batch of cinnamon rolls. the power was out for about 3 hours, and came on just when I went outside to see if the neighbors had power. Corban was a handful during this time, the darkness made him ultra-hyper (twirling in the kitchen, yelling and screaming, and running into things into the kitchen), but we kept him occupied with frozen mango and flashlights. I let him blow out the candles when we were done with them too. It was good practice for birthday #2 coming up.
Side notes:
- Corban doesn't like my whiskers. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then asked for a kiss from him. He grabbed my cheeks and gave me a hurt look while pointing at my whiskers and mumbling something. Just like his mom! It was really funny!
- Malia is starting to interact now. Both Amanda and I were able to do funny parent noises and get big smiles out of her. She is so adorable.
- The power went out and I was about ready to cut some tile, so I set up the electric tile saw...you already see where this is going. Once I have the water and everything lined up I turn it on...oh yeah...no power...I'm an idiot.
- Malia is going bald now...mostly in the front. She is growing way to fast and her hair can't keep up or in! it's crazy!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Baby Blessing!
Apparently I speak much to softly and after reading what was written down, I decided to try to remember the things, or at least a summary, that I blessed Malia with last Sunday.
These are in no particular order as I am not sure in what order they were said.
- A desire for truth and righteousness.
- A desire to gain your own testimony at a young age.
- That you will be a source of joy to your family and especially your mother, and that you will be a support for her.
- That you will be filled with righteousness
- That you will seek a worthy young man who will take you to the temple to make covenants with the Lord.
- That you will see the good in others and be a positive light of inspiration to those around you.
- That you will seek after knowledge, especially in the scriptures.
That is all I could come up with, I may edit this post, or add another post if I remember anything else. I will look at what was written and try to build off of those notes.
Goodnight.
These are in no particular order as I am not sure in what order they were said.
- A desire for truth and righteousness.
- A desire to gain your own testimony at a young age.
- That you will be a source of joy to your family and especially your mother, and that you will be a support for her.
- That you will be filled with righteousness
- That you will seek a worthy young man who will take you to the temple to make covenants with the Lord.
- That you will see the good in others and be a positive light of inspiration to those around you.
- That you will seek after knowledge, especially in the scriptures.
That is all I could come up with, I may edit this post, or add another post if I remember anything else. I will look at what was written and try to build off of those notes.
Goodnight.
I was told...
I was told today that I hardly ever post anything on the blog...couldn't argue with that. So I will write a few things about today and my interaction with our kids.
Corban woke up a little fussy...or maybe really fussy...but I noticed that he began to be more sweet and happy when he could contribute. I think the first thing I asked him to do was to go and get his shoes and socks so I could put them on. He loved that we put our shoes on at the same time. Then he saw me put on a tie, and he had to have one too. It was so cute. I didn't get a picture, but I promise to get one of him next week. The tie was huge on him. It hung all the way down to his ankles. At first, he didn't like the idea of wearing it, but once I tucked it under his collar and tightened it up he really grew into the idea. He wore it all through church, and even fell asleep still wearing it...I did slip him out of it, choking hazard and all. He got so many compliments (mostly how cute it looked, kind of like a clown tie).
Tonight Corban and I rolled around on the floor in some blankets and played hide and seek. I would cover his head with the blanket and then quickly go behind him and let him look around like, "where did daddy go" and then surprise him when he turned around. It was so much fun. I tickled him and we laughed and giggled together. Amanda was practicing the piano, and so when Malia started crying he was the first over to help as he kissed her, petting her head and trying to give her the binky. It is adorable watching him be such a great older brother.
Malia smiled at me today, well, maybe not because of me, but i was in the line of fire. She is such a beautiful baby, and so different from her older brother. I enjoyed holding her and calming her. She can get a little fussy and you wish they could just tell you what was wrong...but then when they are finally quiet and you get to see in their little faces the love of God it just melts your heart.
I love my family. Amanda is ab awesome mother, and an even better wife!
Corban woke up a little fussy...or maybe really fussy...but I noticed that he began to be more sweet and happy when he could contribute. I think the first thing I asked him to do was to go and get his shoes and socks so I could put them on. He loved that we put our shoes on at the same time. Then he saw me put on a tie, and he had to have one too. It was so cute. I didn't get a picture, but I promise to get one of him next week. The tie was huge on him. It hung all the way down to his ankles. At first, he didn't like the idea of wearing it, but once I tucked it under his collar and tightened it up he really grew into the idea. He wore it all through church, and even fell asleep still wearing it...I did slip him out of it, choking hazard and all. He got so many compliments (mostly how cute it looked, kind of like a clown tie).
Tonight Corban and I rolled around on the floor in some blankets and played hide and seek. I would cover his head with the blanket and then quickly go behind him and let him look around like, "where did daddy go" and then surprise him when he turned around. It was so much fun. I tickled him and we laughed and giggled together. Amanda was practicing the piano, and so when Malia started crying he was the first over to help as he kissed her, petting her head and trying to give her the binky. It is adorable watching him be such a great older brother.
Malia smiled at me today, well, maybe not because of me, but i was in the line of fire. She is such a beautiful baby, and so different from her older brother. I enjoyed holding her and calming her. She can get a little fussy and you wish they could just tell you what was wrong...but then when they are finally quiet and you get to see in their little faces the love of God it just melts your heart.
I love my family. Amanda is ab awesome mother, and an even better wife!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Family Friday Night
Last night I was invited to a Twilight party and Jared was really encouraging me to go. He thought it would be a good release for me to go hang out with my friends. When it came down to the time I was suppose to leave, Malia was fussy, which made me fussy and not really excited to go. Jared tried over and over to talk me into it, but to no avail. He even said to Corban, "I guess we can't go to Nickel City if mom stays home." Wait, you were going to take Corban to the nickel arcade? That was a change of tune for me- not as encouragement to attend the party, but to spend the night with my family. 
Jared dressed Corban up in a warm-up outfit given to us at one of our baby showers, which he has never worn because it didn't fit until now. It was the cutest thing having him come to the top of the stairs to "show mom your outfit". The adventure didn't even start until it was Corban's bedtime, but that is what Friday nights are for :) We j
umped in the car, Malia still being very fussy, and drove less than 2 miles from home.
My boys had a fabulous time playing every game Corban showed interest in.
His favorite was the "Jumpin' Jackpot" game which one of the attendants encouraged us not to play because it was too difficult- "Spider Stomp would be a much better choice." Well, I am sorry but my boy isn't interested in "Spider Stomp" anymore, he wants to play this one. So we will waste $.15 on this game that is too difficult. 
Malia had settled down on the drive over, so mom also had a great time being photographer with our little snapshot camera (by the way, I am dying to get a new camera so pictures are worth taking). 
After earning 61 tickets and Jared was sweating too much we decided to cash in and head for home. Corban didn't know what he wanted so dad chose a little spikey ball and army men. They were a hit! He held on tight to those toys all the way home- even when handed his bottle of milk. He grasped the bottle between the toys he had in each hand.
Bedtime was a cinch after that fun night out! And mom got out of her bad mood. Spending time with family can do wonders!
Jared dressed Corban up in a warm-up outfit given to us at one of our baby showers, which he has never worn because it didn't fit until now. It was the cutest thing having him come to the top of the stairs to "show mom your outfit". The adventure didn't even start until it was Corban's bedtime, but that is what Friday nights are for :) We jumped in the car, Malia still being very fussy, and drove less than 2 miles from home.My boys had a fabulous time playing every game Corban showed interest in.
His favorite was the "Jumpin' Jackpot" game which one of the attendants encouraged us not to play because it was too difficult- "Spider Stomp would be a much better choice." Well, I am sorry but my boy isn't interested in "Spider Stomp" anymore, he wants to play this one. So we will waste $.15 on this game that is too difficult. Malia had settled down on the drive over, so mom also had a great time being photographer with our little snapshot camera (by the way, I am dying to get a new camera so pictures are worth taking). After earning 61 tickets and Jared was sweating too much we decided to cash in and head for home. Corban didn't know what he wanted so dad chose a little spikey ball and army men. They were a hit! He held on tight to those toys all the way home- even when handed his bottle of milk. He grasped the bottle between the toys he had in each hand.Bedtime was a cinch after that fun night out! And mom got out of her bad mood. Spending time with family can do wonders!
When I went in to get Corban out of bed this morning he pointed to the red warm-up suite sitting on the floor- so he is wearing it again today.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
3:30-4:00 AM Feeding
This is a special time in the morning for the last few nights. Ma;ia has chosen this beloved hour as a time to eat. I have no problem with that because I understand these little bellies cannot hold enough to make it more than 3 hours- I understand, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it being different. What part I do have a problem with is that it is this particular feeding that she decide to be bright-eyed and there is no going back to sleep for about 2 hours. I have faught this over the past few days, and in some senses of the word that is literal. It has made me feel like a horrible mother, I am even more tired in the end and it makes for a bad day following. So tonight I lowered my expectations- I had Jared move the rocker into our room and I remembered to bring my computer upstairs and I told myself I would get out of bed for this feeding. So far so good- Malias eyes are still open, there has been no fighting and I am improving my one-handed typing skills.
I just love my support group! I didn't come to these lower expectations on my own. I must given credit to myself, number 1, because I can't help but be honest when people ask how things are going. I had taken Corban to Co-op so I could go to a meeting for work- and actually this mother was so thoughtful that she offered to swing by and pick him up rather than me drop him off. That was a huge help, as I do not yet have my timing down with packing up an infant. When I picked him up she asked how I was doing and true to self I let the true be known and she gave me some words of empathy and encouragement. I saw another mom from Co-op as I was dropping off her son. Again, when asked how I was doing I shared a little and asked some questions on how she deals with crying babies. Just having others understand what you are going through and validate that you aren't completely crazy helps a ton!
And then there is my loving husband that tries so hard to be what his wife needs- that can be quite a challenge! Expecially since I don't even know what would help me. And sometimes the loving attention just makes me more irritable. Poor Jared. Just having him around and trying to pick up the pieces for me makes life a little easier. He is a great father and excellent husband!
Thank you to everyone who is caring for our little family. We appreciate the phone calls, emails, and dinners we have been given. We are more than willing to share our little girl with your loving arms- she loves to be held :)
I just love my support group! I didn't come to these lower expectations on my own. I must given credit to myself, number 1, because I can't help but be honest when people ask how things are going. I had taken Corban to Co-op so I could go to a meeting for work- and actually this mother was so thoughtful that she offered to swing by and pick him up rather than me drop him off. That was a huge help, as I do not yet have my timing down with packing up an infant. When I picked him up she asked how I was doing and true to self I let the true be known and she gave me some words of empathy and encouragement. I saw another mom from Co-op as I was dropping off her son. Again, when asked how I was doing I shared a little and asked some questions on how she deals with crying babies. Just having others understand what you are going through and validate that you aren't completely crazy helps a ton!
And then there is my loving husband that tries so hard to be what his wife needs- that can be quite a challenge! Expecially since I don't even know what would help me. And sometimes the loving attention just makes me more irritable. Poor Jared. Just having him around and trying to pick up the pieces for me makes life a little easier. He is a great father and excellent husband!
Thank you to everyone who is caring for our little family. We appreciate the phone calls, emails, and dinners we have been given. We are more than willing to share our little girl with your loving arms- she loves to be held :)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Kathryn Malia Crane
Today we gave our baby girl her name. Her name is a special name to me and I thought that I should take the time to write down the story for her.
When I was a little girl, maybe in my early teens, I came to realize that my mom's mom gave birth to her in her 30th year (1949) and my mom gave birth to me in her 30th year (1979). There was something about this finding that made me feel very special. I thought at this time, "How cool would that be for me to have a baby girl in my 30th year?" As time went on I had some experiences that made me believe that I might not be able to give birth to my own children. This didn't take away from my dream of having a baby girl in my 30th year- I would just adopt. Every chance I was given to "make a wish" I would always wish for one thing, and that was always that I might have the opportunity of giving birth to even just one child, and if it could be a girl in my 30th year, that would be perfect.
Even more years passed and I started to get closer to the realization that I might not even have the opportunity of being married by the time I turned 30, and the closer I got to that age, the more tweaked my wish became- but it still held the basic request that I be able to give birth to one child.
In 2005 I met Jared and in 7 short weeks knew that he was the one with whom I was to share eternity. We were married in the spring of 2006 and had the sweetest miracle of being pregnant in the spring of 2007. The thought crossed heavily on my mind that this just might mean that I wouldn't get to have a baby in my 30th year because that would make them really close. It was still the sweetest miracle I could have received because my wish was granted that I was able to give birth to my own child- and what a perfect child he has been.
To my great surprise in December of 2008 we discovered we were naturally pregnant once again (as opposed to using fertility drugs). This was another miracle that I definitely didn't feel we deserved, but I thought I just as well continue my wish for it to be a baby girl. I held off telling my family as long as I could with the desire to inform them of our pregnancy once we knew the sex of the baby- of course hoping that my news to them would be that it is a baby girl (the first biological girl on the Larsen side). Jared couldn't hold out with his family, so there was no secret for them.
On March 20th Jared, Corban and I went to the ultrasound- a 4D ultrasound to make things even more interesting. When the ultrasound tech disclosed the sex of the baby I was overcome with joy. The rest of that day I felt so blessed and excited for the future of our little family. That night Jared and I had the opportunity of going to the temple. It was in the beginning of the temple session that the name Malia came to my mind. I thought about this name throughout the session and then once I was in the celestial room with Jared, I mentioned the name to him. He liked it but would have to think about it. The name stuck with me, even after going through all the girl names I had come up with in the past. The only problem was I couldn't think of another name to go with it and I am set on giving my children middle names, in addition to the fact that I liked using family names or at least having the name have great significance.
In May we took a trip to Greece to visit my mom and dad. It was a fabulous vacation! While we were there Jared asked me about "Kathryn Malia". Apparently he and my mom had discussed this and they thought the names went really well together. I really liked the idea of using my mother's name, especially because of the "baby girl in my 30th year" whole idea.
As some parents probably have experienced, I mulled over this name for the rest of the pregnancy. When people would ask the name, I would tell them, "We are probably naming her..." I just couldn't get myself to be set on it, while at the same time I couldn't let it go. Jared probably even thought I was more set on this name than I actually was because we talked as if it was pretty much a done deal. I had reservations over the name Malia because of some prominent people at this time, and I felt bad using another name from my side of the family (Corban's middle name, Axel, came from my dad's middle name). Additionally, I wanted to call her Malia, not Kathryn, but I liked the flow of Kathryn Malia.
Needless to say at this point in the story, once our baby girl arrived, the name was given on the birth certificate as Kathryn Malia Crane. I couldn't find my reservations to be good enough excuses to not name her the name I had grown to love over the past 5 months, which also gained a lot of significance over that period of time. She is my little miracle and my wish come true. Now I have to be the mother she and her big brother deserve!
I am so grateful for the family that was in attendance of her blessing. I know it is such a short period of time in which the blessing it actually administered, but it really does mean so much to me to have those priesthood holders in the circle and the rest there as a support. My parents, Jared's parents, the Clawson's, my Doula and her family, Tom and Tang (great friends of ours that we have come to know through work), and of course our wonderful ward family, were all their with us today. We even went out and got a nice suit for Jared specifically for the occasion (I wasn't as pushy as I should have been for Corban's blessing). Jared gave her a beautiful blessing, which made me as the wife and mother so proud of my little family.
A huge "Thank You" to my mother for making a blessing dress by my request. It was more than perfect and received a lot of compliments throughout the rest of our meetings.
On top of this very special occasion, I gave a lesson on Adoption in Relief Society. This lesson wouldn't have been so perfect if it wasn't for my sweet nephew, Chase Clawson, who shared with the sisters his birth and adoption story. It was the perfect touch to an already moving subject!
When I was a little girl, maybe in my early teens, I came to realize that my mom's mom gave birth to her in her 30th year (1949) and my mom gave birth to me in her 30th year (1979). There was something about this finding that made me feel very special. I thought at this time, "How cool would that be for me to have a baby girl in my 30th year?" As time went on I had some experiences that made me believe that I might not be able to give birth to my own children. This didn't take away from my dream of having a baby girl in my 30th year- I would just adopt. Every chance I was given to "make a wish" I would always wish for one thing, and that was always that I might have the opportunity of giving birth to even just one child, and if it could be a girl in my 30th year, that would be perfect.
Even more years passed and I started to get closer to the realization that I might not even have the opportunity of being married by the time I turned 30, and the closer I got to that age, the more tweaked my wish became- but it still held the basic request that I be able to give birth to one child.
In 2005 I met Jared and in 7 short weeks knew that he was the one with whom I was to share eternity. We were married in the spring of 2006 and had the sweetest miracle of being pregnant in the spring of 2007. The thought crossed heavily on my mind that this just might mean that I wouldn't get to have a baby in my 30th year because that would make them really close. It was still the sweetest miracle I could have received because my wish was granted that I was able to give birth to my own child- and what a perfect child he has been.
To my great surprise in December of 2008 we discovered we were naturally pregnant once again (as opposed to using fertility drugs). This was another miracle that I definitely didn't feel we deserved, but I thought I just as well continue my wish for it to be a baby girl. I held off telling my family as long as I could with the desire to inform them of our pregnancy once we knew the sex of the baby- of course hoping that my news to them would be that it is a baby girl (the first biological girl on the Larsen side). Jared couldn't hold out with his family, so there was no secret for them.
On March 20th Jared, Corban and I went to the ultrasound- a 4D ultrasound to make things even more interesting. When the ultrasound tech disclosed the sex of the baby I was overcome with joy. The rest of that day I felt so blessed and excited for the future of our little family. That night Jared and I had the opportunity of going to the temple. It was in the beginning of the temple session that the name Malia came to my mind. I thought about this name throughout the session and then once I was in the celestial room with Jared, I mentioned the name to him. He liked it but would have to think about it. The name stuck with me, even after going through all the girl names I had come up with in the past. The only problem was I couldn't think of another name to go with it and I am set on giving my children middle names, in addition to the fact that I liked using family names or at least having the name have great significance.
In May we took a trip to Greece to visit my mom and dad. It was a fabulous vacation! While we were there Jared asked me about "Kathryn Malia". Apparently he and my mom had discussed this and they thought the names went really well together. I really liked the idea of using my mother's name, especially because of the "baby girl in my 30th year" whole idea.
As some parents probably have experienced, I mulled over this name for the rest of the pregnancy. When people would ask the name, I would tell them, "We are probably naming her..." I just couldn't get myself to be set on it, while at the same time I couldn't let it go. Jared probably even thought I was more set on this name than I actually was because we talked as if it was pretty much a done deal. I had reservations over the name Malia because of some prominent people at this time, and I felt bad using another name from my side of the family (Corban's middle name, Axel, came from my dad's middle name). Additionally, I wanted to call her Malia, not Kathryn, but I liked the flow of Kathryn Malia.
Needless to say at this point in the story, once our baby girl arrived, the name was given on the birth certificate as Kathryn Malia Crane. I couldn't find my reservations to be good enough excuses to not name her the name I had grown to love over the past 5 months, which also gained a lot of significance over that period of time. She is my little miracle and my wish come true. Now I have to be the mother she and her big brother deserve!
I am so grateful for the family that was in attendance of her blessing. I know it is such a short period of time in which the blessing it actually administered, but it really does mean so much to me to have those priesthood holders in the circle and the rest there as a support. My parents, Jared's parents, the Clawson's, my Doula and her family, Tom and Tang (great friends of ours that we have come to know through work), and of course our wonderful ward family, were all their with us today. We even went out and got a nice suit for Jared specifically for the occasion (I wasn't as pushy as I should have been for Corban's blessing). Jared gave her a beautiful blessing, which made me as the wife and mother so proud of my little family.
A huge "Thank You" to my mother for making a blessing dress by my request. It was more than perfect and received a lot of compliments throughout the rest of our meetings.
On top of this very special occasion, I gave a lesson on Adoption in Relief Society. This lesson wouldn't have been so perfect if it wasn't for my sweet nephew, Chase Clawson, who shared with the sisters his birth and adoption story. It was the perfect touch to an already moving subject!
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