Mom's version of Labor

Here it is one month post Malia's birth and I have yet to post my version of the story. It isn't much different from Jared's but I think it is still good for me to put down.
One week past Malia's due date I was fine- two weeks past her due date and I started to not be so patient. On Sunday I was starting to feel very depressed because it was looking to be very likely that I would have to be induced when what I was wanting most was for a natural birth. The midwife did have some reassuring news that it was likely my body would take to induction just through breaking my water, therefore I could still be in the birthing center. However, if that didn't work they would have to move me to Labor and Delivery for pitocin. I prayed that night that we would be able to have this baby naturally- a prayer I had been offering for the previous few days.
Around 4 am I found myself being woken up by cramping pain- not extreme pain, but more of an annoying pain that was making it difficult to sleep through. After trying to fight it I got out of bed at 4:30 am to go to the bathroom- still cramping here and there. I tried again to go back to bed- there would be none of that. So I decided to go downstairs to eat something. By this time it had occurred to me that what I might be experiencing was labor- cramps every 5-8 minutes apart- however, after each cramp I thought, "this isn't bad enough to be labor." This was about the time I went to the computer and started playing around with Twitter and writing on my blog. When Jared woke up to go to the bathroom and found that I wasn't in bed, he came downstairs to see how I was doing. I told him I was fine, I was just experiencing some "regular cramping." "You mean Labor," he said. I told him to go back to bed because it was going to be a long day if it really was labor. So to bed he went.
I decided to put off calling Doula Trisha until a reasonable hour. Once 7 rolled around I held off until my curiosity got to me- I had to have someone else validate that I was in fact in labor. She said that definitely sounded like labor but that we still probably had a while before we would need to go to the hospital. She gave me the instruction to call her back when the frequency and intensity changed. It was almost immediately after I got off the phone that I noticed a dramatic change. I decided to take a shower and then see how I felt. I had already called Heather and let her know I was in labor and we discussed that she would have time to take a shower and then head down here to take care of Corban.
Once out of the shower and feeling pretty confident that I was in fact have more intense contractions, getting to the point that I couldn't talk through the cramping, I called Trisha back. She was still seeming to be on the fence as to whether or not this was to the point that we should go to the hospital- "I don't know. You don't want to get to the hospital too early because you don't want them to send you away because you haven't progressed enough." And I explained to her, "Even if they don't admit me, I would rather take the car ride down there before I get too bad and I can't handle sitting still in a car because of the pain." I told her my sister was on her way and I would do my best to wait for her to get to my house because then my son would be in her care. After that phone call the intensity seemed to increase again so I asked Jared (it was probably more like "telling") to do counter pressure on my hips. Once he did that there was no going without it- it was amazing how much relief that gave throughout the contraction! So he was running about the house getting things ready and having to come to my beckon call every- now 2 minutes.
Throughout the "waiting period" Corban woke up and needed to be fed, so now Jared had a dilemma- do I attend to Corban's needs or moms? He did very good taking care of both of us. There was one point that Corban must have got a little impatient and decided to take the spoon and feed himself while daddy was pushing on mom- just a slight scare for daddy. Then there was trying to pull our bags together, replacing those items we had removed over the past couple of days, and getting Corban dressed for the day. I tried to do my hair- but I couldn't handle it very well due to my need to concentrate on each contraction. And any of the preparations I had made earlier- like snack foods for Jared and candy for the nurses- I had totally forgot about by this point.
As the contractions got worse, I thought to myself, "If I am not at least dilated to a 7 by the time we get to the hospital, I don't know if I can go through with natural birth."
Heather arrived about 9:45 and I couldn't have been more happy for her arrival! I knew Corban would now be happy and taken very good care of while we headed off. We pretty much walked out the door as they walked in. Heather gave me a hug and wished me "Happy pushing". I remember thinking as the boys walked in, "I wish they didn't have to see me this way". And true to Jared's account, we walked out to the van and while I was waiting for him to open the door for me I threw up multiple times. Poor Corban and Ellie who watched in awe and probably horror. I asked that I could sit in the back, for fear of throwing up again and as I climbed in I realized I couldn't sit in a seat, but instead needed to be on my hands and knees. I asked that Jared drive and smoothly, but fast as possible. I was really impressed with his abilities! He had GPS on which let me know exactly where we were along the way. I am not sure that this was helpful because I remember thinking, "We are only that far?!" We did finally arrive at the hospital. I had a contraction as we were walking up to the doors, so I had to stop and have Jared do counter pressure. We got in the elevators and a Resident doctor said, "I have seen your situation too many times." I guess that is a good thing because I felt like a "one and only" at this point and was feeling like I looked pretty ridiculous.
We went to the Birthing Center check-in and it was about 10:30. They knew we were coming because I had called before leaving the house. They asked if I was getting close. I said, with a smile, "I sure hope so, even though I may not look like it." They took us to our room and Jared immediately asked that they start the tub for me. The thought of getting into the tub to have some relief was sounding REALLY good to me at this point. The midwife checked me and said, "You are at a definite 7, but may be further because your water bag is bulging." That was both a relief and a disappointment- I was really going to go through with this naturally!
Trisha arrived about 10-20 minutes after us and Jared was relieved to have her show up because he could get a small break. She took over the counter pressure as he put on some "labor music"- a mix he had made for me of songs we thought would be motivating through labor. While she was at my side my bag burst with a huge gush of water. It was warm and very wet! The midwife checked me again (this time it was a different Midwife because the other one was busy with 2 other births down in labor and delivery) and I was at 9 1/2. They let me know we were at a point we could start pushing if I felt like it. Interestingly enough, I from then on felt like it.
The remaining three hours were much the same. Pushing in one position for 4-6 times and then they would suggest that I change positions. Every time they suggested that I am sure I would roll my eyes like, "whatever you say, but it isn't as easy as you think." I was also very annoyed that between each contraction the nurse would be trying to get a heart rate on the baby by putting the Doppler on my lower abdomen. Knowing that it was very necessary and was much better than having a constant monitor on, I never said anything and hopefully didn't act too annoyed. In between each contraction in my head I was thinking- I can't do this. At times I would even be saying that- shaking my head and saying in a pitiful voice, "I can't do this." The midwife looked at me with a look of caring concern and said, "You are the only one that can this. You are the only one that can get her out at this point." I didn't feel very encouraged by this, but instead felt like she was just going to be in there forever.
I remember at one point talking to Trisha and telling her I needed to get my mind to be somewhere else- every suggestion she gave me (the beach, in a field of flowers, etc.) wasn't acceptable. I was finding myself doing things which seemed to be out of my control and then right after I would be apologizing and being more nice. At the 2 hour point I remember thinking- "I have made it this far before, so what now?" With Corban, once I had pushed for 2 hours they wanted to do some intervention. Well, that must be a magic time because this is when they started talking about moving me to Labor and Delivery. They had determined that I wasn't progressing with each push, but that I was probably just getting her head to swell more and more. She didn't seem to be budging. Having been working really hard for the past two hours, I was open to anything at this point- just get her out of there! Luckily I had Jared and Trisha there to motivate me through this. They kept encouraging me through each push, hoping that there would be some change and I wouldn't have to be moved. The nurse kept working on getting an IV into me, which for some reason in the previous weeks I had been dreading. I somehow remember it being a whole lot worse than they really are. I guess when you have been in a lot more pain, there isn't much that can compete so you can take on anything.
When the midwife came back in after talking with the doctor's downstairs I was so relieved to have her say that it looked like there was a change and that we might be able to do it. She worked with me on stretching during each contraction and I too started to feel the progression. At one point they asked me to reach down and touch her head because it was right there. That was cool, but also kind of weird. Then came the crowning moment...the "ring of fire". This, I will happily admit, was MUCH better than I had anticipated. I think it took 2 but maybe three pushes to get through this, but the pain was nothing like I had imagined. And the fabulous relief that came afterwards as little Malia emerged was something I could do over again.
Malia was immediately placed in my arms and they put a hat and blanket over her- wiped her face off and left her to me for the next long while. I remember saying over and over, while looking into her little eyes, "I am your mama." I would tell her about how hard the both of us just worked on getting her out. There was an initial shock for how dark she was- dark skin (for a white baby), dark hair...all over her body, and really dark eyes. I couldn't really see either me or Jared in her, but she was beautiful. Her head was a little distorted, but I figured it would normal soon enough.
I also spent a lot of time evaluating whether or not natural birth was worth all the hard work. Right off I was really having to weigh it, but just days later I was definitely feeling it would be worth it! One of the best things being that we got to go home within 24 hours. I also bounced back fairly quickly. I loved the entire experience- the midwives, the nursing staff, our doula, and most off all working through the hardest part with my one and only true love.

Now we enjoy our little angel all day long in our arms. She is a bit more demanding than I remember Corban being. She always wants to be held, she eats no less than every 3 hours and it is usually 2 hours, she is as spitty as Corban and fussy after eating, and she doesn't like to sleep much. She has already reached 10 1/2 pounds! Her eyes are looking like they are going to be brown. Still don't see many features as mine or Jared's, but she does look like my baby pictures. I think she has my grandma Cox's hands and Jared's second turned-out toe. She has been interacting and smiling for us for more than a week now.
Corban continues to be darling with her. He still gently kisses her on the head, followed by a pat. He now also gets the concept of wiping up spit up with a cloth and he knows she needs a binkie. When she is crying he will go over to her and put his arms around her, leaning his head in like "There, there. It will be okay."
Daddy is helping out so much among his schooling and hard work on the shower. He plays hard with Corban and enjoys holding sessions with Malia when mom needs a break. Mom has gone through days of obvious exhaustion accompanied by impatience and grumpiness and days a being on top of the world.
Overall we are a happy family learning the ins and outs of our new life. We are loving it!