Sick Days

I have spent the last two days in bed. I begged Jared to stay home Thursday night because I wasn't feeling well and wanted his help with Corban. Yesterday morning I thought I was doing better so I was up cleaning and dusting the house. Well, at about 3 or 4 o' clock I found myself in bed again with a horrible cough and achy body. With it being my birthday, Jared had already planned on being home with me. In fact, we made plans to watch the sun set at 7:00 pm. But by that time I was no good, so he just took Corban and allowed me to sleep. The sickness only got worse as the night went on, progressing to a fever, sore throat, and aching all over. This continued even through today until I got a recommendation from dad to take Naproxin. Two pills and another hour of sleep broke my fever and I am feeling much better. The aches are gone for the most part, but my cough is still here.
Speaking of my birthday, Jared bought me beautiful flowers! He goes to this florist that uses unusual flowers that make for gorgeous arrangements- they aren't too cheap either. No doubt, included in the arrangement was my favorite, the gerber daisy. What a great husband!
Sitting in bed for two days I would like to say I accomplished something, but I really haven't. I would find myself just staring out the window thinking how I wish I could get myself to do something, but I really didn't feel good enough to move. Jared gave me a healing blessing last night and in the blessing he said that I need to read my scriptures and study them so I am better prepared to teach my children. So that has also been running through my head all day, but I have yet to get them open. I will do that as soon as I finish with this blog.
Corban has started blowing bubbles. Here is a picture, but it is hard to actually see the bubbles. He is so cute! Today, once I started feeling better I went and fed him in the chair in his room. Throughout his eating he would stop and smile and coo at me. I think this is the most I have seen him interact. I then layed him on the floor and showed him the black lined pictures that I drew. He was VERY talkative to the circle. I would turn the paper so the circle wasn't as easy to see and he would stop cooing and kicking as much. But as soon as I made it easy to see the circle, the smiles would return and he would coo and kick about. What a lucky mom I am!
I gave him a bath at about 8:00 and just when we were getting ready to blow him dry Jared was saying good-bye. He unexpectedly had to go into work for someone who didn't show up. What a bummer! So our plans of relaxing and watching a movie are foiled! But we finished blowing dry and I got him in his pj's and put him right in bed. He took a bit to settle, so I read him a few books and then he was as good as gone. We will see how long it will last. He has been sleeping a lot since I have been sick, so hopefully he isn't getting sick too. Nevertheless, I do hope he will sleep long hours.
I am off to read and STUDY the scriptures!

Sunday in Flagstaff

We arrived in Flagstaff yesterday (Saturday, March 22) at about 2:00pm. It was a long drive, but Jared and Corban were troopers! Jared drove the entire way and Corban slept most the time. We were greeted by the entire family, everyone having arrived a day or two before us.

Corban met his cousins again, and met Tarah and Josh for the first time. He is still waiting to meet Lisa, who couldn't leave beauty school in Provo for the weekend, and of course Michelle who is currently serving her mission in Chili. Everyone has adored our little one and Grandma has definitely enjoyed being able to hold him nonstop.
When at the Cranes we have a great time doing various activities which include: preparing meals, sitting down and eating around the kitchen table and bar, talking in the family room, playing games, singing songs, and watching movies. Tonight they sang church songs by Sally Deford. Scott was at the piano, Jared, Josh, Ali, Colleen, and Curtis all sang in parts. Tarah and I sat back and listened. It is amazing that the entire Crane family is into music. I admire their ability and way of spending time together. Colleen and Curtis raised this family to be so close to really enjoy spending time together. It is such a blessing to be apart of their family.

One thing I wanted to write about is picture time with the Cranes. They are so funny about taking pictures, scheduling a family picture in the living room every time we are all together. Today it was scheduled for 9:30 am, which ended up happening 30-45 minutes after due to the Scott's not being ready. We take individual family pictures and then one all together. When Colleen and Curtis were getting theirs taken, Colleen said that they shouldn't sit down because "standing makes you look thinner". Comments such as these are made by all the family members and it makes me laugh. When I was taking a picture of Colleen tonight she made another common comment about stretching out the neck to look thinner in pictures. Oh, I love this family!

Jacqui really wanted us to get a picture of all the baby's born in 2007. Unfortunately we didn't remember to take the picture until we were at church and the Scott's were leaving early from church to go home, so here we are in the fortier: Ali with Alisa (9 months), Jacqui with Eliza (6 months), and me with Corban (3 months).

You notice in the family picture, Corban wasn't ready, so we took his picture under the "hooter-hider". Classic! Here is the "family picture" of our family. Corban was not having a great moment for pictures and wasn't willing to give us his adorable smile. He is getting very interactive and fun to talk to. He is constantly cooing, grunting, or making noise of some sort. His eyes are also the most commented on characteristic on his face- "irresistible big eyes". He has BIG eyes that love to stare at shinny objects the most, but really anything in the way. Here is daddy's favorite thing to do with him to prove how strong he is and that he has great balance. He sure is adorable and makes me want to have a dozen more! Though, I really could do without the spit-up.

Late Nights in Bed

Here Jared and I are sitting in bed, each with our own laptop, doing some work, some play, and some catching up. It is funny that this is how life is in our day- somewhat impersonal I sometimes think.

Before getting in bed I checked on little Corban sleeping in his crib. He looks so precious and peaceful. What a sweet blessing he is! I just can't get enough of his cuteness! He has started to suck on his hands- both when he is hungry and just to sooth himself. It is the cutest slurpee sound. He is also really smiley nowadays. When I went in to get him this morning he was such a happy boy. Once he saw my face he even lighted up more. That sure makes a mother's heart melt. Jared gets into it too. It is fun to get him to smile over and over as we talk in that higher, sweet-talking voice.
Oh, he is waking up for a midnight (1 am) feeding...be back.
That little peanut isn't so little anymore! It makes me sad that these moments I will never have again with him. I can't soak it in enough. His cooing is another thing that is somewhat new (last 3 weeks) and is fun because you talk to him and it is like he is listening, then you give him a moment and he will take his turn to talk.

Jared is getting all cozy in bed, giving the sign that it is time to sleep. I guess 1 am is a good time to retire so the next day isn't wasted by trying to make up for the day before.

Wednesday

Interestingly enough, Jared returned from school early again on Monday. When he walked through the door and asked, "Guess what" in that voice that makes you not want to guess, I realized my fabulous day was probably going to have a turn around. In a way it was kind of comical that a computer could get stolen twice! Are you kidding! It was just one week ago, the very same day, at the very same time- a very dejavu moment. I called the dealership to ask a few questions about our vehicle and if there seemed to be a problem with this particular year in addition to how we can prevent these mishaps in the future. Apparently the 2007 GMC Sierra is particularly DIFFICULT to break into. I got a long explanation that would have sounded nice if I were buying the vehicle, but having the vehicle and knowing that it HAS been broken into twice within a weeks' time surely unassures his reassurance. Jared went in and had the lock disabled so the only way into the locked car is by the remote. So if we have a dead battery we won't be too happy about the necessary broken window. Needless to say, he will no longer leave the computer in the car.

It is experiences such as these that I attribute my fear of being home alone at night. I have had this new fear that paralyzes me into one room of the house if I am home alone after dark. I have a million thoughts run through my mind about the horrible things that could happen. Monday night I specifically took a long time picking up Jared's computer. Fortunately the Costco closest to our house didn't have it so Corban and I drove all the way down to Santee. I drove 60 mph on the way home in hopes of meeting Jared at home. He wasn't too far behind me, but I did arrive home first.

Corban was a champ with the long day we experienced yesterday. I was in charge of the food for the Relief Society Birthday celebration. We were at the church for about 8 hours total. Corban was happy to be in the arms of the multiple ladies who offered to care for him while I did what I needed to do for the dinner. It really would be great if a Village would help raise my son.

Tiredness has overcome the thinking mind. It is too bad because I have a million things to write about.

Catching up

We were looking at the videos we have taken on the camera the other day and I am so glad that we had this one! I already can't remember what it was like to hold my little preemie. I just remember feeling like I had to b e so careful and it was difficult to move quickly with him. In this video I had just finished feeding him and was getting ready to leave the hospital with him. Breast feeding was nice because I could lay him across one arm, plus he was really light weight. Now, at 10 weeks, we are loving it because he has a lot of control so I don't have to hold his head for him. Right now he is eating and he is laying across my lap while I type with both hands. One thing that has been a big pain since about 4 weeks old is the spitting up. It is no small amount and can be expected after every feed for about an hour following the finish. I have finally given in to trying medicine, AXID, in hopes that we can lessen it. Everything in the house is starting to smell like breast milk.

I haven't posted in the past couple of days due to being too tired. Jared had his computer stolen on Monday which threw that day through a loop. I would say that would be one of the worst material items to lose due to how often we use personal computers nowadays. I went out and got him a new one that night (he was in an English class) to help him start off Tuesday a little easier than otherwise would have been the case.

Corban's view of people trying to get him to smile. I would smile too :)

Tuesday/Yesterday we spent some time in Orange County visiting Heather and the Anderson's were in town. They got to see our little chunk...who seems so small to everyone else. Of course they just adored him. Heather is always willing to have us come and visit and she will hold him the entire time.

Today we did our typical walk at Miramar lake with friends and then have come home and wasted the day away. I have my first Step Class tonight, so I will need to be doing some prep for that. I am wanting to get some things in the house organized, but Corban might not allow for that. He likes to be held a lot, plus he spits up anytime I lay him down.

I talked with Kimberly today and she got me excited about her and Dave starting to talk about moving to San Diego. WOW! That would be so exciting to have her live here! She says the person we have to work on is Dave. He is starting to consider it because of Kimberly being so lonely. Heather and I could fix that in an instant! It would be so fun to have our boys grow up together!

I love my life! I have frustrating days- Saturday being one of those days- where I think otherwise, but for the most part I have nothing to complain about. I love the friends I go walking with, and we are also starting to do an FHE night once a month. They are all right around my age and we all enjoy a lot of the same things- especially motherhood! I have a wonderful husband that loves making me happy. He seems to be enjoying work, as long as I stay off his case about staying busy- we definitely take care of business differently and I need to be okay with that. Our house is still coming along and I am enjoying the slower pace because I am not sure what I want to do in regards to decorating. We don't really have the money right now to do much, but hopefully after April we will be looking into furnishings. When we started the remodel we gave away our two couches, one love seat and a big chair- so the living room is furniture-less. My calling is fabulous! I love who I work with and I like being involved in what is going on in the ward. I don't know that I am doing that great at it, but I am trying to stay on top of it as best I can.

Gratitude

It is 2:00 am but I couldn't go to sleep without writing what I was grateful for today.

I have been happy in a different way today, which I am sure I won't be able to explain in writing. It is a peaceful happiness in which I am truly grateful for blessings in my life (especially Jared and all that he does for me, Corban and the precious, easy baby that he is, and opportunities I have now that I get to stay home- making invitations for the managers and a "thank you" for Heather for taking care of Corban. Things that normally bother me or even cause some negativity inside were not doing that today. I felt a greater love for Jared and for where I am in my life with him. I am able to just love him without feeling nagging feelings over everything he does (I have a tendency to do that). Everything seems to be in place, with progress in the works. I feel that the things I am doing now that I am home and not working so much on Golden Spoon are the right things- definitely working towards being the BEST things. I don't have any guilt about wasting time, which is comforting. Though I do believe this is something that needs to be continually evaluated.

We were able to go to the temple tonight in Newport Beach and Heather watched Corban. It was great to be able to be with Jared in the temple again. I was still distracted in the session as usual, but I shared my gratitude with Heavenly Father in regards to my "happy" feelings.

Roger just signed on his new company of Golden Spoon Franchise. He will now be able to sign on new owners to Golden Spoon under the Franchise company, which is separate from the Licensing company to which we belong. Jeff Barnes is still in charge of the licensing owners, which will gradually be moving over to Franchises after our agreements are up. This makes Roger a rich, successful man.

Just a comment about Corban- he is a very talented nurser. Today he was able to nurse while we were walking! I had in the "Snuggley" (a front baby carrier) and realized he was in the perfect position to nurse. He kept turning his head and acted like he was looking for the nipple, so I went ahead and fed him while we walked. He ate like a CHAMP! This might change my whole world when at home :) Corban might just sit in the "Snuggley" all day.

Typical Day

Today started out waking up to Corban crying in my bed around 6:00 am. I had brought him into bed with me at the 3:30 am feeding out of convenience. He sleeps right next to me and when he cries, I give him milk. We did that and were able to sleep a little longer, but then he was fussy again. As soon as I started talking to him his fussing turned to cooing and smiles. What sweet moments these make. We talked in bed for a while and then I realized he had soaked his clothes by blowing through the diaper. I changed him and fed him a little more and then put him back in his own bed.
I enjoyed my morning working on Golden Spoon stuff- payroll, bills, marketing arrangements, and such. I don't really know how much time I put into work now that I have Corban. For sure it is A LOT less than before and Jared has picked up that slack. Regardless the amount, I enjoy being able to do everything I do for work from home. It is nice having something to do but not have strict deadlines. I never get bored.
Jared watched Corban in order to give me the opportunity to go to the gym. I have just committed myself to teach on Wednesday nights at Poway LA Fitness. Once I committed I found it easier to get myself to go to the gym- initially out of necessity to make sure I can physically handle it, and now as a way to get combinations from other instructors. The class I went to today use to be mine and the instructor who took over is AWESOME. She is one of those instructors that is really motivating because she looks very fit (cute small body), she has fun music, and her combinations keep your mind occupied. Needless to say, I got some great ideas this morning.
I joined Wilson, Jared, and Corban at this Hawaiian BBQ place that Wilson raves about. They were having a meeting and I ate lunch with them and picked up Corban. He apparently was good for Dad and was sleeping by the time I got to him. As seems to be habit, he awoke while we were eating and wanted to eat. I don't mind nursing him in public, so that was just what we did.
Next on the agenda was a walk with Meg and Indy Ryan at Miramar Lake. We had a great time talking because I haven't had time with Meg for the past 2 weeks. Corban slept in the Snuggly the entire walk. I was sore from having lifted weights yesterday and doing the step class this morning, so the 2 1/2 miles wore me out completely. The only thing that helped my mind handle the strain my body was feeling as I carried Corban and my 127lb body was that I was getting a massage this night. Talking with Meg is also always really fun. She is my one friend that I feel completely comfortable talking to about sex- because she is overly open to talking about it. In fact, she informed me that she just went to her 6 week doctor's appointment and Sean is getting 2 boxes of condoms for his birthday in this next week.
After a stop at Trader Joes, Corban and I went home to prepare dinner for Jared and also a family in the ward that is needing meals because the father is on Chemotherapy for cancer. What a blessing it is to have the opportunity to help out in these situations. I helps me realize just how blessed I am to have my family and we are all healthy.
Massage, picking up Corban from the church because Jared was doing scouting, coming home to eat and feed Corban again. In the evening Corban is both fussy and smiley. We spent some time looking and talking at each other. He loves it when I pat his bum and sing "Hands, Hands, Finger, Thumb. Dum ditty Dum ditty dum dum dum". I have to repeat it over and over because that is the only part of the book that I know. I also make up rhyms that make no sense, but I think he enjoys the talking.
When Jared got home we gave him a bath. It is crazy how chubby he is compared to the first weeks of life. I sometimes wish I could go back and hold that little preemie. I don't even remember just how small he was, which makes me sad.
Now I am home alone with Corban because Jared went back into work to get some numbers on La Jolla for the past 2 months. I hate being home alone at night. I guess I am still scared of the dark. Lately I have been hearing noises everytime I am home alone. I psych myself out, but I don't know how to stop. Actually, I do believe that praying helps me to settle down and just have faith that I will be protected.
I am tired and need to retire to bed. Scripture study is hardly going to be "studying". Unfortunately I didn't read during the day because I would say that is the only time I can make it productive.
Okay, that was like the 5th yawn in the last 5 minutes so I am gone.

Gratitude: I am grateful for how blessed I am to have friends going through this new parenting life right along with me.  I feel so blessed to be where I am at this time in my life- the ward I am in, the friends I have made, the calling I have been given, having a husband that is happy that I am happy and wants to do all the work outside of the home, sweet Corban and the sweet blessing that he is mine!!!, and the list goes on. It is still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I am a mother and I am in this for the long haul.  Corban isn't just on loan or isn't just someone I am taking care of for a few months- I will get to watch him for the rest of my life! By the way, this is a very happy thought.

Run Down of the day

Today Corban and I had a great day. We woke up when Jared was getting ready to go to school. I jumped out of bed (after praying with Jared) to throw together a lunch and prepare something for him to eat for breakfast. He was running a little late because we don't like getting up to the alarm lately. After Jared left I picked up and fed Corban while I ate breakfast- Corn flakes and Raisin Bran mixed together. He fell asleep while eating. I thought about walking and sent a text to Erin Seymour to see if she wanted to go to.
While waiting for a reply I decided to finish birth announcements for Corban. I realize he is now 2 months old and most people I would send these to already have seen a picture of him somehow, in addition to knowing when, weight, height of the birth- but I have already been working on these and figure it might still be fun to get in the mail.
Never did hear back from Erin. Guess she wasn't into walking today.
Two hours and 2 feeds later...
Now the two hours is not abnormal with scrap booking type stuff, but the 2 feeds within that amount of time should sound a little odd. Corban has this snacking thing going on. I am probably a bad mom for letting him do it. The problem is that I sometimes get so wrapped up in what I am doing- birth announcements for this time- that I just do whatever is easy and what will settle him. He kept falling asleep and I didn't bother to bother him.
So after this period of time I jumped in the shower to prepare myself for a meeting I was to be to by 11:00am. I figured it was okay that I was only giving myself an hour because Corban had just snacked for the past 2 hours. This is the problem with my mind- it always talks me into procrastinating and thinking that I am speedy at whatever it is I am doing. Turns out that I was quick with the shower and the getting my hair done. Where I was wrong is that Corban did still want more milk, so I called to let Sue Sadlier know that I would be 20 minutes late.
The Meeting:
Boy was I lucky to have chosen to have the meeting at her house! Her home it beautiful and full of decorating ideas. It really helped me to understand Sue a bit better because in our meeting I learned all about her amazing, million talents, her family, and my calling as Enrichment counselor. Not only that, but I left there with a new cook book, written by Sue, and a Hooter-Hider, made by Sue. This lady is inspiring to me! Hopefully not in a way that is envious, but in a way that gives me confidence that I can lots of different things in my life. She cooks, sews, arranges flowers, does photography, decorates, plans events, and many other things I have yet to learn about.
It turns out that she made one of the gifts that I got at my baby shower- a blanket, burp cloth and onsie sewn and stained blue by Sue!
I really did have a great 2 hours with her! I said as I was walking out, "Please invite me over again sometime." And I wasn't kidding. She is someone I really could enjoy just being around to receive inspiration every once in a while. I don't know that I would have much to contribute, but maybe I would figure that out over time. By the way, she is in her 60's but looks much younger and acts even younger (not in an immature way).
Next on the list:
Corban and I then did some mailing at the post office, which took much longer than one would think. But the check on my list (written in my mind) feels great!
Corban was definitely hungry again once we got home. So was I :) So we both took care of our bellies while I read emails. I actually took time to prepare some food for myself, having a healthy ham sandwich.
We spend some time looking at each other and talking. Okay, I did the talking but he was coo back and give me some great smiles! What an adorable boy Jared and I produced!
Jared comes home/3:30pm:
The strip down to garments as usual, but then a request to join him in the bedroom not as usual.
After personal time and a shower, Jared offered to let me go to the gym. Perfect timing to make it to a Body Works class. I ran into Lee, my personal trainer during my pregnancy. I will be getting back into that in this next week.
In the weights class one of the members asked me when I would be teaching again. She also told me that she would look at me as a model when she couldn't see the instructor because I have good form that she can trust. What a compliment. I really do appreciate knowing that the members like my teaching and look forward to when I will be coming back.
While I was gone, Jared was able to give a few ounces of pumped breast milk to Corban, which had me convinced that he wouldn't be needing anymore, so I pumped the milk that I had. Well, this wasn't the greatest idea because he was still hungry and I depleted his supply.
Book Club:
Covered this in my first posting. While I was there I committed to coming next month by being the Presenter. It is on "Uses of Adversity". I didn't agree to do it because I feel I have adversity, but on the contrary- I don't have adversities and I would like to know how I can learn from other's great adversity and maybe even help them at times.
Corban was awake the entire time. He was a bit fussy, but that is because he usually is at night. Of course he wanted some more food.
On the drive home I spoke with Meg Ryan and made plans to go walking tomorrow. I will be working out at the gym in the morning, but still want to go walking because I want to see Meg and catch up since her parents have been here for the past 2 weeks so I haven't seen much of her.
Night time at home:
I hate being home at night without Jared. Lately I have been scared- hearing noises and the such. Tonight wasn't so bad because I was preoccupied. Before I knew it, Jared was knocking on the door. He doesn't have a key to the front door...I need to take care of that for the sake of both of us.
Golden Spoon entered our evening, but again, it feels good to have some things checked off my list (written in my mind). Jared gave me an update on how we are doing for the year as far as sales and yearly projections. Things are looking good for the most part :)
Now it is bed time. Jared is watching a movie, "While You Were Sleeping", while I type away. Corban has just been fed. Jared is also burping him so I can finish up.
I best be going to bed. We still have prayers- on top of our pillows that we have sitting to the side of the bed so we will kneel to the side of the bed rather than pray in bed- and scripture reading to take care of.

It just so happens

I am now a blogger. I thought I wouldn't join this world of blogging because of not wanting to spend my day sitting at the computer. Golden Spoon work already keeps me on the computer enough.
What pushed me into blogging?
I just came from Book Club with some sisters from my ward. They were discussing the book "21 Days Closer to Christ". I hadn't read the book but was hoping to gain from the insight of those who had. One of the main discussion points was about journal writing and how beneficial this can be in our lives as it relates to our spiritual experiences. I have a personal testimony of this, as I use to be good at journal writing when I was single and used it as a way to see the way my prayers were answered. I am constantly trying to get myself back into journal writing and I have many "started" entries to prove it. One of the problems may be that hand writing takes so long. If that is the problem, then blogging should solve it :) My block with just typing my journal is that it seemed so impersonal and then I just have these papers of my life story. Well, Monica Papin had a solution to that- publish your blog on blurb.com and the book will be sent out to you, bound and professional looking. Perfect!
So this is my plan.
I will blog for the next year, trying for everyday, but will be satisfied with weekly. This isn't just about me, but what is going on in the family...from my point of view. I would like it to be personal in that I share spiritual happenings and things for which I am grateful. My intent is not for anyone outside of Jared and me to read it or post to it because I want to feel completely comfortable sharing anything and everything that comes to mind.
I look forward to this new plan and am very hopeful that it satisfies my journaling desires, yet doesn't detract from what is most important in my life. I still don't want to spend my day at a computer, but hope to give hours of attention to Corban and Jared, prepare healthy meals for our family daily, keep up on the daily house work, frequent the gym or other means of getting exercise, and definitely make time to study the gospel- really study the gospel. Hopefully my posts reflect these priorities.